How does a romantic relationship work with a driven performing artist? My 3 tips for relationships with artists are revealed below, in a vulnerable look at a performer’s flat or flying life. Can you have a happy relationship as a driven artist?
Let’s start with a true story. Friday just passed, and I’d completed two acting audition self-tapes. It took the whole day. As a result, I was exhausted, and an early night was needed. When Saturday morning arose, I craved adventure, so I told my husband and two kids, “Let’s go to the lake now!” An announcement followed by 20 minutes of a flurry as we loaded the car.
While this is common in our home, the wild, spontaneous, and adventurous, there is a downside. I get bored quickly and want everything to be fun! Do I have a witness?! My husband is married to a performing artist. Most performers work in freelance, project-driven careers. As a result, frequent change is standard. Isn’t it wonderful that performers are brave enough to live with a certain level of the unknown? Performers are wild enough to take risks in their careers because, against all the odds, they follow their dreams.
Three tips for relationships with artists
Although not all creatives, artists, dreamers, and performers are like this, I have learned that these wild and easily bored sides make up the artistic DNA (so to speak) of many performers and other career artists. My husband is my biggest fan, gift, and support. The truth, though, is that being a professional Actor and performer used to be a rollercoaster. Although, I have learned a new approach to my career since then.
Throwback to our London days before kids, I was training, auditioning, hustling, and…got my first MAJOR rejection. The kind of rejection you get when your heart is set on the role or job. Because of this, I was knocked FLAT, the emotional pain unbearable. Why did I tell everyone I was up for an ample opportunity again? Oops. This resulted in a shame storm beyond measure. How does a relationship handle the challenges of hope and the crash if hope is deferred?
Here Are My 3 Tips for Relationships With Artists
Relationship Tip 1 – Remind Them of Who They Are
My husband Andrew loves me in the place of audition rejection as I am. He brings me cups of coffee with milk-drizzled love hearts in the foam and reminds me of who I am. While also reminding me of how he sees me: talented, capable, beautiful, and worthy of trying again.
Relationship Tip 2 – Let Them Grieve and Heal In Their Own Time
My husband lets me grieve the opportunities I don’t book. He doesn’t try to push me out of the pain. He understands it’s a process and that I will bounce back. A romantic relationship with a driven performer is a big adventure for my husband and me. Besides, he prefers the excitement I bring to our lives over the alternative, whatever that may mean. 😂
Relationship Tip 3 – Love and Belief In Them
I have learned that we don’t need the whole world to believe in us in these places. We need one intensely trustworthy person to love and believe in us. I hope you can teach your partner (and/or friends) to sit with you in the disappointment and remind you of who you are. The storm to pass.
The other side of the low times is when I have tremendous success. My hubby is right there again to hug me and celebrate with me. I don’t always do celebrations well. However, I recognize the need to stop and enjoy an achievement BEFORE heading toward a new goal.
Well, friend, here are my three tips for relationships with artists. These tips work for my husband and me, and you can also have a happy relationship as a driven artist.
Whether flat or flying, you can better bounce through the artist’s life by letting your ‘one’ person know what helps. Don’t expect that they will understand. In relationships, I believe in teaching your partner how to treat you. You could even give them a list rolled up in a bottle with a cute label saying, ‘Break in the state of an emotional emergency!’
With you on the journey, friend
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