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Are your Artist dreams and goals distracting you from living now? Are you putting aspects of your life on hold? Pursuing big dreams is great, but are your goals distracting you from living in the meantime? Is your life on hold due to your artistic dreams?
I have what many would consider the dream life: two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. I have a husband who is devoted to me, leading in his field, and handsome.
We have traveled the world for our careers and achieved much. We have had many wild adventures in different cultures and invitations to speak, teach, and attend conferences and events. However, there was a time when my performing career goals distracted me every moment of every day.
I used to have this buzzing thought that I needed to work on my career right now, and anything else was getting in the way. Many would say that’s just being driven. Acting and the performing arts take laser focus, after all.
Was I putting enjoying my family on hold due to my career dreams?
There was a long season when I did not have a husband or two children; I could focus on my art. It’s a huge adjustment learning to juggle the changes life brings. However, if I had to choose at a fork in the road, whether I wanted a performing career or a family, I would choose family. When we are old, I know most of us won’t wish for another performing role; we will want not to be alone.
The issue for many performers and artists is putting our lives on hold while we chase ‘making it.’
A singer friend I know kept pushing to ‘make it’ in her career, and now, at 45 years old, she is on IVF for a baby. I have an Actor friend who didn’t want to buy a home because she was touring for a year. Another dancer friend I know has put off starting a family for her dance career. It’s taken so much of her focus that her marriage now suffers. I also put off having children for a long time for my career, but when I decided to have a child, it was because I genuinely believed there was no perfect time for a performer to start a family. Changing seasons is a struggle at first, but it does change your freedom.
In London, I would still attend auditions, but as a mother, I could barely get to 1 technique class a week and competed against younger musical theater dancers doing three classes daily. I used to be them. Seasons change. We must do the emotional work to change with them and find our worthiness in each new season.
The bigger question is, why do you put Life on hold due to your artist dreams?
It’s about our values and where we get our worth. It takes a certain kind of artist to move to an arts hub and say, ‘I want to be a performer professionally.’ It takes so much effort and energy to train and audition. When that season is delayed, changes, or ends, it’s easy to feel worthless, but it’s a matter of perspective.
How do you see and value success?
It’s a van full of kids and a beautiful home for one person. For another, it’s a career in lights. The statement, ‘How do we see and value success,’ is the key. When you realize that not everyone ‘sees’ life as you do, you can take a step back and ask yourself, what am I wanting? How do I want to feel each day? In life, we are pursuing a feeling more than a goal.
We want to ‘make it’ to feel successful and worthy in our careers. This makes us feel happy. Happiness is what we want. How we achieve that satisfaction is by changing how we think about success.
I have learned that who I am surrounded with affects how I view success. We feed off those around us. Sometimes, a little time away from our usual crowd helps us reflect. Step back and ask yourself what you put on hold for your career and why. Is your life on hold due to your artist dreams?
With you on the journey, friend.
LBP X
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